25 Mast Jokes Whatsapp pe masti keliye

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25 Mast Jokes Whatsapp pe masti keliye

25 Mast Jokes Whatsapp pe masti keliye

 

“For all boys hit like”
Sabse Pavitr cheez agar hai to wo hai Lauda-
Bcoz
Lauda
Bahut POLITE hai,
Hmesha Jhuka rehta hai.
Lauda
Dayalu hai,
Har Ladki ki Goad bharta hai.
Lauda
Asli Guru hai, Wo apne 2 Chelo ka
saath nahi chodta.
Lauda me saadgi hai wo choti si
Gufa me raat guzarta hai
Lauda Aadrniya hai
Wo har Naari ko dekh k khada ho
jata hai.
Lauda
Chahe kitna modo marodo usme
se Amrit hi niklta hai,
Jisse ye Srishti chalti hai..
Proud to be a LAUDA-Dhari….:


when i was kid….
Jab mein chota bachcha tha tab:
PUSSY ka matlab CAT hota tha;
SEX ka matlab GENDER hota tha;
BITCH was a FEMALE DOG;
DICK ek cartton movie ka naam tha;
BANG was a SOUND;
RUBBER was nothin but an ERASER;
ASS was an ANIMAL;
SCREW was just a fixing TOOL;
HEAD ka matla SAR hota tha;
BALLS meant cricket balls, tennis balls, Volly Ball or FOOTBALL…;
NUTS meant DRYFRUITS;
and when I met you all, my friends… meri poore Education ki maa behen ho gayi!!!!


Salaam Aajkal Ke Bachho Ko Teacher Bachho Ko Nashe Ke Upar Lecture
De Raha Tha, Achanak Pappu Se Ek Sawal
Puchha. Teacher: “Sharab Aur Pyaar Mein Kya
Rishta Hai?” Pappu: “Sir Ji, Sharab Over Hone Se Ladka
Ulti Karta Hai, Lekin Pyaar Over Hone Se
Ladki Ulti Karti Hai


College Ke Trip Par Bache Ghumne Gaye Thhe, Aur Usmein Santa Ki Beti Chinki Bhi Thhi,
Jaisa Ki Aap Log Jante Ho Ki Jaha 1 Se Jyada Ladkiya Ho, Vaha Bas Duniya Bhar Ki Ajeebo Gareeb Baatein Shuru.
Ese Hi Chinki Ki Ek Friend Ne Sabhi Friends Ke Aage Ek Question Rakha.
Ladki: “Koi Btayega Ki Doodh Aur Ladki Mein Kya Faraq Hota Hai”
Chinki: “Ja Pagli Tujhe Itna Bhi Nahi Pata, Doodh Jab Gharam Hota Hai To Malayi Uper Aati Hai, Aur Ladki Jab Garam Ho To Malayi Niche Aati Hai”
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Whats the difference b/w Bomb & Condom..
When bomb blasts population decreases
&
when condom blasts population increases


POEM BY A GIRL:
Fuck me hard…n fuck me deep..!
Don’t stop..until i weep.!

Suck my boobs..n kis my lips!
Go on baby..shake my hips!

I love the feel of u in my pussy!!
Ek baat kahun..kya chodte ho tusi!!

Eat my pussy..like burger of McD!
Chodo mujhe..faad k meri chaddhi!

Woofer mai teri..tu mera amplifier..!!
Kisi aur ko chod ke aaya hai na..u liar?

Faad di hai tune..aj meri fuddi..!
Aise hi chodte rehna..jb tk mai ho na jaun buddhi!!

Muh me lene ka aaj man hai mera..!!
Taiyar ho ja..lund pe saja k sehra!

Chudna chahti hun mai like a whore.!
Condoms lana.. one plus four…!!


Pakistani’s most versatile sound.”BHENCHooD” In 8 moods:

1. ANGER:
Bhag Bhenchuud
2. FRUSTRATION :
Sab chutiye he Bhenchood
3. ACCEPTANCE :
Sahi Hai Bhenchood
4. REJECTION :
Gand Mara Bhenchood.
5. FEAR :
Ab kya Hoga Bhenchod.
6. SORROW :
Bhenchood gand phat gayi..
7. SHOCK:
O Bhennnn…. Chhoodd..!
And last one CELEBRATION :
PiYO BHENCHooD PIYO


Who Took Care Of Your Virginity
Husband On 1st Night Finding His Wife A Virgin Is Overjoyed And Says.
Husband: “I Wanna Kiss The One Who Took Care Of You & Protected Your Virginity”
Wife: “Kiss My Ass“


Please Take Care of Your Things
Boy: “Girls If You Wear This Much Tight T-Shirt, Then Milk Packets Will Break”
Gir Smiled And Replied: “Firstly, Close Your Zips Curds Packet Is Leaking“


How To Use Love And Sex In A Sentence
Once A Professor Asked His Students To Use Love And Sex In A Sentence.
Girls Wrote:
“When Mutual Understanding Between A Boy And A Girl Increases So Much That They Can’t Live Without Each Other,
Implies They Are In Love And When This Love Reaches Extreme Such That Both Feel Bodily Same,They Engage Themselves In A Body To Body Pleasureful Combat That We Call Sex”
Boys Wrote: “I Love Sex“


Love To See Your Handsome Face
A Married Man Was Visiting His Girlfriend When She Requested That He Shave His Beard.
“Oh James, I Like Your Beard, But I Would Really Love To See Your Handsome Face.”
James Replied: “My Wife Loves This Beard. I Couldn’t Possibly Do It. She Would Kill Me!!”
The Girlfriend Asked Again, In A Sexy Little Voice: “Oh Please James, Do It For Me”
He Replied: “Really, I Can’t, My Wife Loves This Beard!!”
The Girlfriend Asked Once More, He Sighed And Finally Gave In.
That Night James Crawled Into Bed Next To His Wife While She Was Sleeping.
The Wife Was Awakened, Turned Toward Him, Felt His Face And Said: “Oh Michael, You Shouldn’t Be Here. My Husband Will Be Home Soon!“


Gandi Baatein To Suno Pati Patni Ki
Suhagrat Ke Agle Din Pati Patni Ke Kamre Mein Se Suni Gayi Kuch Baatein
Pati: “Ab Kaisa Feel Kar Rahi Ho?”
Patni: “Kal Raat To Hadd Hi Ho Gayi,
Uff Do Ghante,
Meri To Jaan Hi Nikal Gayi,
Saare Kapde Geele Ho Gaye,
Pehle To Ek Ghanta Karte The,
Magar Kal To Poore Do Ghante Tak Saans Hi Nahi Aayi,
Ek Ghanta Bhi Bahut Tha,
Ye Do Ghante Ka Bijli Ka Cut To Jaan Hi Nikal Leta Hai“


Kya Aap Wahi Hai?
Hamare Dost Devendar Ko Badi Tharak Chadi Hui Thi, Control Na Hua To Ek Dalal Ke Paas Jakar Bola.
Devendar: “Ek Bade Boobs Aur Chote Hole Wali Ladki Bhejo”
Kuch Der Baad Ek Ladki Aayi Aur Devendar Se Puchha.
Ladki: “Kya Aap Wahi Hai, Jiska Muh Bada Aur Lund Chhota Hai“


Jungle Ka Raja Kaun ?
Ek bar ek jungle mein ek lion hota hai aur ek donkey hota hai. lion kehta hai main jungle ka raja hoon aur donkey (gadha) kehta hai ki main jungle ka raja hoon. panchayat ho jati hai ek sharat rakhi jati hai ki jo bhi in dono mein se ek doosre ko apni peeth per baitha kar pure jungle ka chakkar laga dega wohi jungle ka raja hoga. lion bola mujhe manjur hai, donkey bhi bola mujhe bhi manjoor hai phir lion baith gaya donkey ke upper aur donkey nein pure jungle ka chakkar laga diya ab pari thi lion ki, lion ne donkey se kaha aa baith mere upper to donkey ne apna l@nd lion ki g@@nd mein ghusa diya to lion bahut jor se chillaya ki hai mar gaya yeh kya hai??… to donkey ne kaha abe sale yeh to abhi suit case hi rakha hai sawari to abhi baithi hi nahin hai.


Petrol Ke Liye Saali Kuch Bhi Karegi
Ladka Ladki Se Bola: “Main Tumse Pyaar Karta Hoon”
Ladki: “Ha-Ha”
Ladka: “Main Tumhare Liye Mar Jaunga”
Ladki: “Ha Ha Ha”
Ladka: “Main Tumhari Activa Ki Tanki Har Hafte Petrol Se Full Karva Diya Karunga.
Ladki: “Waah, Sach Kasam Se??”
Ladka: “Hahahahahahahahhahahahahahahaha Chal G@nd Marwa“


Suhagraat Ke Baad :
Pati -Tujhe Raat Ko Zyada Dard Ya Takleef To Nahi Hui na?
Patni -Nahi, Bahut Maza Aaya… Dard to Tab Hota Tha Jab Mai School Mein Thi…


Ek Admi Ke Bete Ki Shadi Hone Wali Thi Toh Wo Furniture Wale Ke Pass Gaya Aur Bola,
Aadmi : Mistri Ji, Bed Zara Majbut Banana, Mere Ladke Ne Bahu Pe Chadna Hai.
Ab Mistri Bhi Pura Kameena Tha, Bola : Ji Chinta mat Karo, Aisa Majboot Bed Banaunga Ki Sara Mohalla Bhi Bahu Pe Chad Jaaye Toh Bhi Nahi Tutega…


Suhagrat Ko Pati Ke Ander Guste Hi Biwi Ne Apna Blouse Utar Diya.
Pati Ye Dekh Kar Bada Hairan Hua Aur Biwi Se Pucha?
Pati : “Arrey Tumne Mere Aate Hi Apna Blouse Kyu Utaar Diya?”
Biwi Sharmate Hue : “Ji, Aapki Bhabi Ne Kaha Tha Ki Jaate Hi Apne Pati Ko…
Dudh Zarur Pila Dena”


Jab Ladki ki Suhagrat ke baad uski Saheli Puchhti hai
Kaisi rahi Suhagrat ?
To vo batati hai – “Aaye the wo der se, Dil jala diya,
Pahle kiya Kiwad band,
Fir Deepak Bhuja diya …
Pahle khel khelne lage Seena Tatolkar,
Fir khel khelne lage Underwear khol kar,
Ek Jang Aisi chhidi Palang par,
Gole wali Top rakh di Surang par,
Yah tha 9 Minute ka Majaa,
Ab bhog rahi hu 9 Mahine ki saja,
9 Mahine baad 1 aisa ho ga Visfot,
Jo ban jayga Bharat ke liye 1 Aur Vote…


Suhagrat ko Pati ne apni Patni se bade hi pyaar se puchha –
“Darling aaj ki raat tum mujhse jo bhi mangogi main tumhe sure lake Dunga”
Patni ne jaldi se Takiye ke nichhe se ek photo nikali aur boli –
“Please iss bande ko aaj ki raat laa do aur tum kahi chale jao”


Paper Dene Or S*x Karne Ke Baad
Sari Girls Ki Feelings Same Hoti
Hai:Kitna Lamba Tha Na Kash Thora
Time Or Mil Jata Tooba Pehle Kitna
Dar Lag Raha Tha Phir To Pata Hi
Nahi Chala Kab Ho Gaya Uff Teen
Ghante Tak To Meri Saans Hi Band
Ho Gayi Thi Aagay Ka To Theek Tha
Peechay Ka Kitna Mushkil Tha Na.


Purani soch:-Karo ya Maro.
Nayi soch:-Marne se Phle kuch karo!
Ekdam Nai soch:- Jab tak kuch kar
nahi lete maro mat!
Hamari Soch:-Koi Bataega Sala
karna kya hai?


Pehli Baar ch*@dai Karane K Baad
Ladki L@ND ko choom k Boli:
Aaj Mujhe Satya Ka Gyan Ho Gaya,
‘COKE’ ‘PEPSI’
Sab Bakwas
“MARD Ki LASSI”
Hi Bujhaye Asli Pyaas.


 

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